Your lives have been shared and there is no way you can erase the past. Instead, you have to move past it to make a new future. Here are 8 ways to quit being an ex-wife and move forward.
#1 Child Support And Alimony Are Your Money. They are part of your income. Theyre not a gift. Theyre not what he owes you. They are income. Treat them as such and make them part of your budget not part of your anger. If you have problems collecting, take it to your lawyer. Separate your future finances from your past marriage no begging, no complaining to your ex. Let the courts handle it.
#2 Stay Out Of His Life And Keep Him Out Of Yours. If you dont have to be in contact with your ex, good for you, but usually there are reasons you may talk with him or see him. If so, be polite and impersonal, but no leading questions. His business is not your business. And, you dont want to share your new life with him. Ditto, with mutual friends. Dont ask about him and if they start to tell you what hes up to, tell them youd rather not know. Ask that they respect your privacy.
#3 Dont Ask For His Help Or Advice. You know he knows how to deal with the balking furnace. Dont call him; call a repair man. Your daughter is giving you fits. Get advice from your family or friends. If needed, call a professional counselor. If it is necessary to share a detail about the children, keep it factual and brief. Dont lean on him for help with the house or your problems.
#4 Dont Involve The Kids. They are not your messengers. Dont send him messages through them. Try to be as positive as possible about the divorce. Dont try to tell the kids how horrible your ex was or try to get them to take sides. Instead, try to help the children adjust to having two parents who just arent married any more.
#5 Communicate Unemotionally. This one is hard. Its necessary to contact your ex about the children or a legal matter. Suddenly, the old issues are coming up and you feel an argument coming on. Dont let it happen. If you need to make an excuse and end the conversation. Hang up or walk away. Let your ex know the new rules; you both will speak and treat each other respectfully. Live up to your part of that bargain!
#6 Continue Relationships Carefully. Its difficult. Your friends became his friends; his friends became yours. You really like some of his family members. Make certain that these relationships continue because you are friends not because you want a tie to your ex. Blood is thicker than water so be understanding with his family if they feel they cannot continue a friendship with you.
Becoming you own woman after a divorce starts before the divorce. Be sure you hire an experienced Divorce Attorney Glendale who can not only make sure you are treated fairly in the divorce and settlement, but can also help build a foundation for the future by helping you address issues as they arise. Feeling confident about your divorce will help you feel confident as you move from being an ex-wife to becoming a divorced woman with a happy life of your own.